This Never Ending Road to Calvary
by heartsn'minds
Summary: James Potter - a few weeks before his wedding extravaganza - discovers Lily Evan's letter for one Severus Snape. He doesn't want Lily to mend her relationship with the greasy haired Slytherin. He won't allow it. It would be too dangerous. And so, he chooses the lesser of two evils. What Snape doesn't know...Snape won't know.
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Severus, _

_I had planned to write a quick and witty opening sentence that would have made you laugh except now as I am writing, I can't think of anything to greet you with other than a 'hello'. It seems as if my eloquence has finally failed me but please allow me a chance to explain everything before you decide to burn this letter up and throw it away._

_ I know this may come as a shock to you considering we haven't spoken to each other since fifth year, but I want you to know that I forgive you Sev, I do. I won't ever understand why James did what he did but I can only imagine the pain you felt and I suppose my defending you wasn't exactly in the category of helping you that day, so I've come to terms with it. _

_ I'm sorry for all the years that went by without us speaking to each other, and I will tell you that I miss spending time with you, Sev. Just lying out on the grass and watching the clouds, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. _

_ I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wish we could just…go back in time and fix everything (I'll double check to see when Wyndmiller's got those prototype Time Turners done!). _

_ I heard a lot of amazing things that you've accomplished Sev and I'm so proud of you - I know your mother would be as well, really. I always knew your talent for potions would land you the lauded title as 'potions master'! _

_ Anyway, I'm hoping you still live on Spinners' End (otherwise this will be read by a man who will be very much confused by what I am writing and perhaps think me mad) and that this letter will get to you intact and safe. I wanted to tell you this before the newspapers announced it because Merlin only knows what a big head James can get when he…well, when he does anything, really. _

_ I'm getting married to James Potter, Severus. Not because he forced me, not because of anything…but because I love him, Sev, please understand. _

_ I wanted to be the first one to tell you that. I suppose I'm something of a coward not to tell you in person, but between the whole wedding planning, Sirius, Remus, Alice, and just everybody getting together before talks of the war start…I don't really know if I could even have made it to Spinners'. I want you to know that I have valued your friendship each and every day of my life (except when I was mad at you, but even then I remembered your kindness) and I wanted to say thank you for that. Thank you for showing me this whole other world, thank you for being there for me when no one else was. Thank you, Sev, for just being you. _

_ This is probably too much of me to expect but I wanted to tell/give it to you anyway. Inside this envelope you'll find a wedding invitation to my and James's wedding. It's R.S.V.P reserved already so all you really have to do is just send the invitation back with a check mark on the 'yes' box. If you don't, I understand. But is it wrong for me to wish that you really, really will? _

_ I miss you lots, Sev. And I wanted to apologize for childhood follies before we build our bridges permanently. I don't care about the silly house rivalries or who you choose to hang out with (I mean, I hang out with Sirius everyday! If I can handle him, then I'm sure I'll make do with anyone), or what your beliefs are. I just miss my friend. _

_ As I'm writing this, I can already see how long this letter has become and if you're eyes aren't glazed over yet in boredom then maybe…I'll get a response? If not, then I'll see you one day Sev, and I'll make it up to you. I promise. _

_Lots of love, _

_Lily_

* * *

James Potter stared down at the letter his fiancee, Lily Marie Evans, had penned for one Severus Snape and he couldn't help his lip curling up in disgust. He always knew Lily had a gentle and forgiving heart so it shouldn't have come as too much of a surprise when he discovered that she had been trying to mend old grievances before she wed.

What did irritate him was the fact that _his_ fiancee was trying to mend grievances with one of the most aggravating and narrow minded people that he had ever had the displeasure to encounter.

Deep down he knew that it wasn't all Snape's fault for their childhood rivalry, but because Snape had been the perfect scapegoat for whenever things went wrong, James never saw any reason to really change anything. Sirius encouraged him, Remus never reproached him, and Peter just thought it was a delightful fun when these 'productions' as he called them, would take place.

He supposed now he felt some stirrings of guilt well up inside of him as he read Lily's letter about his cruel prank to the greasy haired Slytherin boy, but he couldn't help it - after all, that was the day the opportunity to finally court Evans on a somewhat level playing field had arrived and he, James Potter, was never one to miss a given gift. And it'd worked for him, didn't it? Here he was now, twenty three years old with a kick ass job, a grand fortune, a lovely home, loyal and amazing friends, and the most fantastic, beautiful fiancee any man was lucky enough to even gaze upon.

So, no, James Potter wasn't the least bit sorry about the prank he'd pulled on Snape that day. He _was_ sorry that he'd never gotten the chance to apologize.

But that didn't mean he wanted Lily to have contact with that slimy snake - she couldn't. He knew that Snape had been friendly with Lucius Malfoy, Evan Rosier, and the other Death Eaters (supposed Death Eaters that is, but James was never one for details) and he had quite the friendship with Bellatrix Lestrange - the world's first Death Eater made public. James couldn't risk Severus dragging Lily down into anything like that; though he was loathe to admit it, Lily was of 'impure' blood (not that he cared but those damned murderers in silver masks did) and she would be a walking target if she and Snape were ever to patch things up.

He was going to choose the lesser of two evils.

He had to.

For Lily.

For the future.

And so, it was on that day (April 6th) that James Charles Potter took Lily Evans's (soon to be Potter's) letter…and locked it away, in a impenetrable safe only accessible by a spell of his own creation. One known by only Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and himself.

So, yes, Severus Snape never appeared at their wedding (thank goodness, Sirius had joked at the wedding) and though Lily was upset, James had easily raised her spirits by distracting his blushing bride with every extravagance and piece of entertainment available at the party. And soon enough, all was forgotten and James was confident that one day, when they were old and gray and with plenty of grandchildren surrounding them, he would tell her.

He would tell her of the deed he had done because he could not risk her getting entangled with a potential Death Eater and she may have a fit (because she's Lily Evans) and may not speak to him for a few days, and he may have to grovel…but it'd all be worth it. It'd be worth it when she smiled back at him and said "it's all right James. I understand…it was a pig headed move, but it was sweet nonetheless" and she'd kiss him and inform him that mending things with Snape were no longer a priority.

Yes, that is what would happen. And then he and Lily would gladly carry out their lives together at Godric's Hollow in happiness, while their grandchildren flew on brooms in the open Quidditch field before them as a house elf popped up with a tray of lemonade.

It'd all be perfect.

So with that mindset, James gives a small smirk and sends a silent, mental apology to Snape (you aren't half bad, you greasy haired git) and tucks his wand into his coat pocket. Giving a wide grin, he stills his excitement that in just a few weeks time, he and Lily will be husband and wife.

Things would work out just fine.

He'd give her the letter she'd written one day, and they would re-read it again and laugh and Lily would make a joke at how silly it was that she wanted to mend a broken relationship and James would agree.

He could see that future panning out as clearly and vividly as anything.

* * *

**Review. **


	2. AN: Meaning of the title explanation

Alright, so this is not a new chapter update but I rather a bit of an extended author's note. I've gotten some questions about the title and what it means and if I had somehow misspelled or misused a word.

The word 'calvary' refers to the hill where Jesus was crucified (koryandrs, you're correct). Along the road to the hill, Jesus was mocked, spit upon, and ridiculed by the people as well as the guards who led him there. When he finally reached the hill, he was bloodied, exhausted, and suffering from dehydration and severe beatings. I extended this meaning unto my story by allowing the calvary to refer to how Snape constantly suffered at the hands of James, Sirius, etc. before he met his untimely end in The Half-Blood Prince.

The title is basically an allusion to how James basically sets Snape onto this road to misery by first hiding away the letter and then, well, subsequently dying so Snape never gets the letter.

I hope this clears things up for future readers! Thank you for reading and please review! (And yes, I did get the title inspiration from the film Les Miserables).


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